Sometimes, as adults, we think we have the most knowledge, expertise, and wisdom about the lessons of life, but then we have moments when we humbly realize we are still learning ourselves each day.
We get caught up in thinking we have it all figured out.
In fact, we might have better understood how things should be when we were kids. Before, we were consumed by adult responsibilities, “being busy,” and not knowing how to be from moment to moment. There’s a different stress level and often negative things that have shaped our views of the world. As much as we think kids don’t pay attention they might be picking up more than we realize.
A few lessons in apologies from my children have taught me…
That it is those moments when the world stops around you, and you speak from the depths of your heart, an apology that has been building in the back of your throat, you whisper the sincere words that have traveled from your heart and soul to your lips.
One direct lesson came from my thirteen-year-old…
The girls were outside, all playing on the swing, and then suddenly, I heard the waves of cries from my youngest, the 6-year-old. She made her way inside, tears falling down her face. Often, it’s hard to get the story out of her when she comes in full of emotion. She is consumed with pain, hurt, and tears. Eventually, she lifts her shirt to show that she does have a giant welt on her back.
Her sister came in to say calmly she was swinging them, and she might have swung too hard, and the youngest hit the side ledge. Then she hurried off. Later, after everyone came inside, I was in the kitchen when my thirteen-year-old pulled my youngest aside and said, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know I am sorry for what happened out there; I am sorry you got hurt.” There was sincerity in her voice and pain in her heart.
That is just one example from one of my children who has shown me the earnest and brave way of the meaning of saying sorry.
Watching in the rear view mirror and listening through the kitchen door, I humbly learned a lesson more profound than just saying, “I’m sorry.” A lesson from my children on having the courage to be vulnerable to feel the tinge of pain in one’s heart as we brave through feelings and ownership of admitting when we are wrong. And to go through those feelings with someone as we feel their eyes and beating hearts upon us.
I can recall many times when I just should have been brave enough…
To truly apologize because, you know, as mom, mommy, the partner, a sister, daughter, a friend, a human being, I am not always right, and I have much to learn. I think as adults, for some reason, it can get harder for us to have these moments of vulnerability, to be willing to step down from the chair and shift our body language into an open, soft stance, to express our regrets for how some way we might have behaved or made someone feel crummy.
Thank you, kids, for the lessons you give me each day as we go through this adventurous journey called life. Where we are both growing and learning together.